Tag Archives: Charlie Sheen

Who Okayed This? (Charlie Sheen edition)

This is not a picture of Charlie Sheen because I never want to see his face again. This is a picture of an adorable puppy.

Like this asshat needs any more words written about him, I know. A part of me hoped that this man was like that annoying person at the party. Just avoid eye contact and hopefully they’ll go away or at least pass out on top of the pile of coats in the bedroom. But the problem is, he’s not that person. He’s more like that person at the party who backs you into a corner in the kitchen and feels you up before puking on your new shirt. Or to be more precise, he’s like the ebola virus. He will make you shit blood.

There have been lots of great posts on El Asshat (as he will henceforth be called) like this one about him and his Asshat in training Chris Brown. So why wade into the fray? Because of this nonsense. That’s great everyone. Pay a hundred dollars to go watch an abusive addict desecrate the Massey Hall stage. Beyond the horrifying image conjured by the name of the tour – “My Violent Torpedo of Truth.” Really? Really? Why don’t you just call it “My Rapey Penis” – the fact that people are clamouring to attend makes me so stabby because:

1) This man is obviously mentally ill. So we’ve managed to monetize someone’s complete unravelling. And yes, he’s doing it to himself. All of it. But that kind of makes it worse since obviously this is not someone who is making anything close to a good decision. Even President Bartlet Martin Sheen AKA Dad called him “emotionally crippled.” And this coming from a guy who had a nervous breakdown on camera.

2) You’re paying money to go watch someone who has a prolonged history of violence towards women. And in going to see him or in saying that anything is winning or tiger blood or whateverthefuck you are essentially condoning his behaviour. Yes you, asshole hipster, who thinks this is all so hilarious. Or even if you don’t think it’s hilarious and every El Asshat tweet you write is ironic it DOESN’T MATTER because you’re still giving him space in the public realm and therefore making ME have to hear about him more. HE SHOT HIS GIRLFRIEND IN THE ARM. DO NOT GIVE HIM YOUR MONEY OR YOUR TIME. It’s really that simple people.

Upside: Two and a Half Men might be over forever. And that would definitely improve the overall quality of life in North America and abroad.

Look for the silver lining.

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